Ghosts
by Lauren K
Summary: Darth Vader thinks of what Obi Wan did to him, and the consequences that followed. Angst. First post! Constructive criticism needed! UPDATE Luke thinks about his father, and the battle of Yavin.
1. Ghosts

AN-I wrote this at about half past midnight, listening to Saavedro's Theme from the Myst III soundtrack and Mitternacht by Kraftwerk, both very creepy, depressing songs. This is from the perspective of Darth Vader, just before he finds Obi Wan on the first death star. This is my first post, so please, give constructive criticism if possible!   
  
Ghosts  
  
Do you hear that, Obi wan? The sound of anguished souls? Their breaths at your ear, heavy with the pain of eternal torment?   
  
That is the sound of ghosts, Obi Wan. The sound of ghosts that do not go so quietly into that long slow sleep, from which they will never wake up.   
  
They cry because they are in pain. From their aching wounds that will never heal. From the wounds of betrayal, which burn them more grievously than any physical hurt. They cry for their families, their loved ones, who they will never see again with their own eyes.   
  
Why does purity, wholeness, righteousness, goodness rip families asunder, Obi Wan? Why do they betray the ones who once trusted them? Why do they take their wives and children from them, why do they become the monsters that they fight against?   
  
What are monsters, Obi Wan? Are they the horrible, dark, soulless beasts with savage claws and hungry eyes, always destroying? Or are monsters more insidious foes, those who come swathed in the cloak of justice, creating the beasts they call monsters?   
  
Who is the monster, Obi Wan? The lost one, the one who may never walk free from the torment of the betrayal, crushing him with each labored breath? Or who made him so? Who was trusted, believed, followed. Who was rebelled against, the one who then destroyed the lost one's life, piece by agonizing piece...  
  
Do you hear those ghosts, Obi Wan? They are angry. They are following you, Obi Wan. They will destroy the monster that has hidden from them for so long. They will tear the monster apart just as it did, so many years ago...  
  
The ghosts have found you, Obi Wan.  
  
AN- response to reviews:  
  
Amylion- Thank you! Yes, I do write longer fics, and I might continue this kind of series, if the inspiration strikes (I'm going to need something to do on the trip my parents are planning this week...)  
  
Lioma- Thanks! As said, I write longer things, but viginettes are my specialty. I am trying to make these longer, though. I'm thinking up another as I write this. 


	2. Impossible Rain

He's gone... the crazy old wizard, old Ben. Killed by that monster, that murderer, he tore my family apart...   
  
How far will he go to hurt, to kill those closest to me? He tortured princess Leia, destroyed her home planet. Both her parents are dead, now.   
  
Like mine.   
  
I don't know what happened to my mother. I hope that monster didn't get her the way he got my dad. Poor old, dead Ben said that monster was his pupil. He betrayed and murdered my father. Where they friends? Did my father trust him? I only know what Ben and poor old dead Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru told me. My aunt and uncle never told me anything about my father. Was it because they didn't want to tell the innocent little kid that he was murdered by a friend?   
  
When Ben saved my life, he gave me my father's lightsaber.   
  
My father.   
  
My hero.   
  
Did he ever have enough warning to use this against that monster, to see who had betrayed him? Or was Vader too cowardly to face him?   
  
Vader... I hate that name. I hate that thing that tore my life apart. I ran from him once, for the ghost, imploring me to flee. Ben. Did he die so that we could have enough time to get out, did he sacrifice himself to that black, soulless thing for us?   
  
Next time I meet Vader, I won't run.  
  
Next time, I will kill him.  
  
He will pay for what he has done.  
  
The night after the battle of Yavin IV  
  
I have been telling myself since I landed that what I did was good. It was justified. Us or them. Another one off my freshly dead friends to avenge. Now the meteorites burning in the sky above the impossibly tall trees, the only markers for the dead illuminate the night sky fall like gentle rain, beautiful, impossible rain.   
  
While watching this from the top of one of the Massassi temples, I try to convince myself once more. I destroyed that terror that turned Alderaan into rubble, killing millions of innocents. I destroyed a weapon that would have brought new meaning to the word genocide.   
  
But as I left the ceremony earlier today with my shiny new medal, elated and full to bursting with happiness and pride, I heard General Dodonna talking to Princess Leia about the victory. He in full military regailia, she still in her beautiful white dress. He told the rebel dead first. Just under twenty, all pilots. Then the Imperial dead. Over two million technicians, regulars, officers and civilians. I stopped dead in my tracks, numbness creeping over me like a suffocating shroud.   
  
I killed those people.   
  
Two million bodies never to get a burial. Two million families weeping for their loved ones. Two million souls streaking through the sky like impossible rain.   
  
As I walk numbly down the corridor to my room, the irony of the situation sees the open door of my numb mind and invites itself in.  
  
I committed genocide. Like him. Like the one who killed my father.   
  
I am no better than Vader.  
  
INo. /I   
  
I am better than that murderer  
  
How can you say that,a malicious little voice says, full of dark laughter, When you just killed millions?  
  
IYes. I have never betrayed anyone the way he did /I  
  
Ah, but what about Darklighter? You could have helped him. You could have told him to break away like Antillies. But you didn't, didn't you?  
  
INo... He killed Biggs, not me... /I  
  
But you could have prevented it,the voice said, sensing weakness, complacency is not an excuse when something could have been done.  
  
II've never killed out of anger, like him, /I I argued, trying to keep my mind from slipping away from me like blowing Tattooine sand. What is going on? Am I going insane?  
  
Are you so sure?The voice says, maddeningly, What about when Kenobi was killed? What did you do then?  
  
I I don't remember, /I I said. II only remember Ben telling me to run. I was so... oh no... /I  
  
Yes. You where lucky Kenobi stuck around long enough to tell you to run. You only killed two or three stormtroopers, but if you hadn't been called off, then you would have slaughtering everything that came in your way before being killed yourself. You where in a murderous rage that could have led you on a rampage. Are you sure you're not related to Vader?  
  
INO! I'm not... I'm not... I'm not like the man who killed my father! /I  
  
How can you be so sure?  
  
IHe tortured Leia! He killed everyone on her planet! /I  
  
No, Tarkin was in charge of that station, so he made the decision. Anyway-  
  
I-But he could have done something to stop- /I  
  
-And now you're stealing my argument,the voice said, amused. And how do you know he didn't feel remorse for both actions? Under that mask there is a human face, you know.  
  
IBut how could a person do such a thing? To kill their best friend... /I I said, breaking down, like my mind, my shattered mind... I'm going crazy. The one who saved the Alliance, the "hero", is insane. No happily ever after for me...  
  
I imagine it's not much different from committing genocide.   
  
IGo away.../I  
  
No, sorry. Can't.  
  
ILeave me alone! Get out of my head! /I  
  
Oh, but you are alone,the voice says, a towering presence in my slowly breaking mind, a great inescapable blackness, You're all along except for me. And I'm going to stay here for ever and ever until admit who you are- a murderer.  
  
INo! I'm not... I'm not... /I  
  
You are no better than the man who killed your father.  
  
INo!/I I feel sick, the impossible rain still falling, the ghosts, the sad, sad ghosts, falling, falling, like my father, murdered...  
  
IFather.../I My mental cry, amplified by anger, confusion, sadness, goes out into the void of space, unheard.  
  
Luke Skywalker fell asleep, under the impossible rain.  
  
-----------------------------------------------  
  
Sitting in his battered X1, flying through hyperspace to his fleet, the Dark Lord of the Sith meditated behind the ever-glaring death's head mask. The power of the dark side flows through him, bringing fragmented snatches of the future, the past, the present, and things that will never happen. All cry in anguish, in rage, in fear, in pain, creating and perpetuating the awesome power of the dark side of the force.  
  
Except for one. Full of confusion, pathetic in its desperation, but still drawing the mental eye towards it, like a starving, broken animal. It was a strange, uncontrolled presence, but strong. Incredibly strong. Vader turned his attention to this strange, unknown but somehow familiar presence, his brow furrowed. Whoever the person was, they where strong, and relatively untainted by the lies of the Jedi. The presence broiled, writhing, struggling against an unseen tormentor, radiating that strange, unknown, familiar power. The presence burst open, like a beautiful dark flower, rootlets branching, searching, searching, desperately searching for something, anything to help it, save it. He frowned, pausing as one rushed towards him, ripples of sorrow and anger flowing outwards, beautiful in their blackness, deliciously powerful.  
  
IHow could one so strong have escaped us? /I He wondered. He reached out to brush the thing with a careful mental touch. Images from a divided, shattered mind surged from the connection. Guilt, remorse, rage, confusion, sorrow... The thing begain to turn in on itself, trying to shut out the pain. It uttered one last, anguished cry into the force before being lost in the swirl of have beens, will bes, and will never bes, leaving with it an image of a young boy standing under the Tatooine suns.   
  
IFather.../I  
  
Vader's eyes snapped open in utter shock. Searching for the lost one, the hidden one, his...  
  
ISon.../I.  
  
AN- THIS was written several weeks before it actually wandered its way onto the net on a rocking sailboat, while the author listens to the waves... the wind... her mother screaming as we go over a particularly nasty wave... Our home internet has been down for a couple weeks, and it was only just repaired. My sincerest apologies to all five of you out there reading this.   
  
Yes, if there are any Tolkinites reading, The voice uses a bit of Wormtounge's dialogue from The Two Towers movie. I'm a complete geek, so when the idea crept in, I couldn't resist.   
  
A few things in here people might not agree with, so let me do the best to explain things... Luke did actually go a bit nuts when Ben died. I made sure to watch the scene so I got this right, and he did actually shoot three troopers. Of course, the voice is trying to mess up Luke's life, so it exaggerates slightly about how out of control Luke was. But you definitely get the sense he would have gone kamikaze if Ben hadn't told him to run.   
  
I checked the figures on the death star's carrying capacity, and it is in fact somewhere around two million (2,775,000 to be exact). I do not know if this figure is correct, but it was checked. The death star did carry civilians on board, but once again, the number of civilians is tied to the figure that I used, so once again, I am not sure if it is correct.   
  
I really don't know where the schizophrenia idea came from. People from Rwanda who massacred civilians en masse said afterwards that it felt like they had been possessed by the devil, and they truly feel like they know they are going to go to hell for what they did. Guilt and such emotions can be expressed through many ways, and Luke was a very innocent character, very child-like even at about 19, that I just kind of got the idea for an imaginary friend gone bad.   
  
I hope someone will review this piece of crap. I don't know why I wrote it, the voices never tell me why... Still, reviews would be appreciated. Thank you.   
  
For nothing.  
  
IHush, you. /I.  
  
No.  
  
I.../I  
  
You there, looking at the monitor. Yes, you, with the stupid look on your face. Review. Now. Or else...  
  
IWould you cut that out?/I  
  
Oh, You're no fun anymore...  
  
And finally, after much long windedness on the part of the author, THE END. Or not, depending on reviews... 


End file.
